vrijdag 17 augustus 2018

Happy Health Day!

Cancer changes everything. For one thing it does change the way one sees this world or life for that matter. Is it clarity? If that is the case I would say a steep price to pay. Clarity comes from change so it does make sense. It did change the way about how I feel about a particular day in August.
If I were born in a different language zone, would I have written this? Would I be feeling this way about this day? And would I also be closer to tears than to laughter?

Language is a funny thing. It is beautiful and sometimes not so. It separates and at the same time brings people together. It is a blessing but also a curse and today, one day after my birthday I find myself contemplating on the meaning of this day of "celebration". Wondering, about the name given to the day when we first start breathing on our own.
I never really celebrated, for as long as I can remember because this day always occurs during the holidays when either I am away or everybody else is. I do not remember where I was last year, which shows what fighting for survival does to ones mind. Normally and almost naturally I would be in China and being in China is truly being away, believe me!
But this year did not feel up to it and that is why I find myself "celebrating" at a friends house in the countryside in Bulgaria.

Where was I, ah yes, language. In Dutch, this day of coming into this world is called "verjaardag" and literally means "day of expiration" and when this word came to be, it must have been during a timeperiod when people must have been not so happy. I mean why else call it Expiration Day? It is downward depressing! Birthday is less depressing, since at least some people where very very happy when you came out screaming and remembering that day to them could be a day of celebration. But the subject starts expiring from then on, yay!

Language is also time sensitive so in light of current times, experience and understanding we should come up with a new name for this "happy for most and sad for equally the same"- day. As congratulations, from those that rembember, pour in I mostly feel lucky to still be around on this day....on any day....
Nothing to celebrate. Unless you live in China where this day is called " 生日" (  Shēngrì) and literally translates to "health day". Then on this day if you are healthy there is actually cause to celebrate and if not it expresses the wish to become healthy. We are getting closer...
That must be why it always felt so nice to be China on this particular day!
There is where I want to be next year.
Smiling again.